Kids Say the Darndest Things…

So when my students mock/repeat what I say, it’s annoying.  But when my 2 1/2 year old child does it, it’s either hilarious or infuriating.  I thought I would share with you a few examples.  You’ll see the word or phrase he says, the context in which he uses it, and the etymology (or how/where he learned it). 

Enjoy.

“Sorry.  I can’t park.”
Context: Used while driving his Little Tykes car (the red and yellow ones).
Etymology: We got a new minivan about 6 months ago.  I still can’t park the darn thing.  Therefore, most times when we go places, I find myself apologizing to any passengers in the vehicle before I pull out and re-park.

“Really???”
Context: He’s asked to do something and doesn’t want to.
Etymology: Mommy.  Example: “Mason, don’t scrape the table with your fork please.” (Mason scrapes table with fork.) “Really? (with dripping sarcasm)  I just asked you not to do that!”

“RIGHT!  NOW!”
Context: Typically used during a temper tantrum, this phrase indicates that something is not happening as fast as he would desire.
Etymology: Husband used to say, “Mason, you need to ______________ right now!”  He regrets this now.

“Get outta my way!”
Context: Used any time he wants something/someone to move.  Is usually combined with “please”, but this does not make the phrase any more polite. Has been used at the grocery store towards complete strangers. 
Etymology: His favorite book from the library, I’m Dirty by Kate and Mike MacMullen. Reading is a good thing, but perhaps I need to be a bit more careful in book selections.

“I got a bit turd in there!”
Context: Diaper changes.
Etymology: Mommy.  (Fail.) (Gross.)

“Look at those little eyes!”
Context: Whenever Isaiah is awake.
Etymology: Both parents said this from the start of Isaiah’s life because it’s so rare for newborns to be awake.

“I know, Isaiah. I know.”
Context: Whenever Isaiah is crying.
Etymology: I say this when I can’t get to Isaiah right away to soothe him. Didn’t even realize I said this!

“That’s pretty cool!”
Context: Varies.  Sometimes used when he’s confused and doesn’t know how else to respond.  Sometimes used when he thinks something is, well, cool. “Look at that excavator! That’s pretty cool!”
Etymology: Mommy.  Guess I need to expand my vocabulary a bit.

“Fail.”
Context: When he or I do something incorrectly. Example: Dropping 14 freeze pops out of the freezer. “Fail, Mommy.”
Etymology: Me again.  Jeez. Fail.

“(GASP!) It’s an ambulance!  WEEEOOOOOHHHHH WEEEEOOOOHHHHH!”
Context: Whenever any type of siren is heard.
Etymology: We live 3/4 mile from the fire station and 1/4 mile from the police station. The husband of his sitter is a firefighter; therefore, they live down the street from the fire station.  He hears sirens all the time.  When he first began asking what the sound was, I would tell him what it was.  Now, he has to tell me what it is.  Every time we hear a siren.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the most common.  I guess it could be worse.  He could use the F word all the time. Oh wait.  He does.  Every time he says TRUCK.  (I’m hoping the speech problem will go away soon.)  More later…

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2 responses to “Kids Say the Darndest Things…

  1. I kind of love the “You quit doing that!” he shouted from his room when you put him in a time out. That was pretty funny. Quit doing what? Making dinner?

  2. Xs best he got from both of us… “I TOLD you!! ” whatever it is we’re not responding to right away…

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